It
has been so long since I have written anything. I don’t know why I have had
this block or why I don’t feel like writing…because a lot has been happening. I
was diagnosed with Celiac Disease which has been a relief but also a huge
adjustment…not just with my eating but mentally. There is something that
happens when someone tells you that you CANNOT eat certain things ever again…you
instantly want them even if you never liked them. I have been fighting these mind
games which has resulted in eating more gluten free snacks and trying new
recipes. I am grateful to finally be feeling better and that I have more
energy. I will still be having an upper endoscopy, bone scan and some more
blood work. I have had to do all the research on my own and with the help of
great friends and family. The doctor’s don’t really have much to say about it
and haven’t been extremely helpful through the process. So huge life adjustment
but hoping it only gets better from here!
Spiritually, I kind of feel like I
am in desert right now, a few months ago my relationship with the Lord seemed
to have been the best it has ever been. Now, I am just back to struggling with
putting myself and life before my relationship with Jesus…I pray for God to
humble me and break me, mold me into His image. I get so frustrated sometimes
with my thoughts and my pride. I am saved by His almighty grace and it is not because
of anything that I have done…why is that so easy to forget? Why do I want some
sort of credit for His glorious work? It’s so wrong, I truly want to be His vessel
so that He can share his love and light through me, and I hate it when my flesh
gets in the way. I struggle with prioritizing my time, with so much to do in a
day… I know that spending time with Jesus should be number one and it shouldn’t
even be something I need to think about! I should be so overwhelmed by His love
and what He’s done that I should be jumping for joy that I can even bow at His
feet…grant me the grace, Lord. Forgive me. Help me focus on what you have done
for us this Easter season; please fill my cup so that I might overflow…
We
have started a Bible Study with some other couples and friends, I am praying
that goes well and that great bonds are made. We are excited to be part of
something different! Lately, Mike and I are really trying to focus on blessing
other because we have been so blessed. Finding moments in our relationships
where we can share this with others…I feel like we are being bold with what God
has laid on our hearts. We are open about how He is working in our lives and
are so excited for this journey that has only just begun.
It
is amazing to me how just giving up shopping has really changed my life…so many
things have changed because of this one sacrifice. It has help to put things
into perspective. It has brought me closer to my Creator and has just grown me
so much.
Last
thought, we are headed to Haiti this summer to work in the tent city! We will
be spending a week there and I am so excited! So excited to have this
experience with some of my family and to see how God works and what we can
learn from this resilient group of people!
Life is such a roller coaster, some
spots are bumpy, some are a free-fall, some make you want to scream, some make
your tummy turn, make you sick, make you scared, make you want to laugh and
hold on tight but knowing who directs my cart makes everything okay.
